Angel of Deathnote
by CabooseBlue
Summary: AU: Light decided to go into nursing after high school, what changes in his life has this choice caused and how will he be affected when the notebook is reintroduced? How can L save Light this time? LightxOC leading into LightxL.
1. Prologue

**-Special thanks to Yaoiluver190, Dragonrider4000 and my other friends for helping me with my character creations. And again a super special thanks to my beta redfirerose without whom I would be doomed to my own stupidity. **

**-This is AU and therefore don't expect this to follow anything in canon! I'll also take this opportunity to mention that I don't know how graphic this will get so proceed with caution. Also, yaoi, guyxguy, if you don't like it don't read. **

**-I do not own Death Note or any such things; I make no profit from this. Don't sue me, it won't benefit you. **

Angel of Deathnote

Prologue

Light gathered dishes from lunch as the patient was assaulted by another coughing fit. He turned his caramel eyes to look sympathetically at Mrs. Tsukimura. The old woman had cancer, and from her struggled breathing, Light knew she didn't have more than a few months to live. He wished he could do more for her as he handed her a tissue to cough into.

Light's job as a nurse was spent trying to comfort those in pain and listening to their accounts of suffering. Sometimes he wished he could just end it but he couldn't be sure that they wouldn't make it through their illness. What he wouldn't give to see how long they had left to live, to be able to cut off those few weeks of hanging to life by a thread. But that was wishful thinking, there was no way he could kill someone like that.

He decided his lunch break would be best spent outside with a more pleasant atmosphere. Today was just a normal day as Light Yagami as he sat elegantly with his bento box, until something dropped out of the sky. The black notebook landed delicately in a nearby garden and quickly captured Light's attention. Even from this distance the gothic lettering could be easily made out; _Deathnote_.

…

Throughout the day Light had taken small bits of time to look over the rules in the notebook. It almost seemed too good to be true but he was determined to test it, his only hope. He slipped the book into one of the medical binders and pretended to fill out the charts.

_Sakura Tsukimura dies peacefully in her sleep at, _he glanced at the clock, _6:15. _

That gave him half an hour before she would die and he would still be on shift. He knew she had her affairs sorted and she had said many times that she wished she could die; he could end her life without guilt. In the half an hour he brought her dessert and read from her favorite book, he even made sure there were fresh flowers for her. As the last few seconds were closing in Light felt an anxiousness run through him, would it work? He looked over to see her fall asleep and a few moments later her heart monitor went flat. He felt his own heart would stop as he looked down at his watch, 6:15 on the dot. He had caused her death, his surprise settled once he saw the peaceful expression on her face.

…

"I'm home," Light called into the spacious apartment as he slipped his shoes off. He was getting ready to prepare dinner like usual when his boyfriend Jack strode into the room quickly descending on Light.

"Light, I need a favor. I need you to hack into your father's computer and dig up some information for me." Light shrank away averting his gaze as he thought on it.

"Jack, you know I can't keep doing this, it'll put us both in danger and I don't know how long I can keep this up." He tensed as the bulky man grabbed his arm painfully dragging him closer.

"What was that? I thought that when I told you to do something it got done no questions. Are you gonna call the cops on me next? Huh? Are you trying to leave me?" He growled making Light feel small and fragile.

"N-no, Jay I love you! I would never betray you like that; I j-just think my dad might be getting suspicious. If he gets suspicious he would do a background check on you and, and then we couldn't be together. I'm just worried because I don't want to lose you." Light stuttered out trying to calm his lover. Pale blue eyes glared suspiciously for a moment sizing Light before deeming him trustworthy and bringing his trembling figure into a dominating hug.

"Okay, I trust you. But you understand why I have to be cautious, I can't lose you. If you really think it's too risky to search for the information I'll find another way around my dilemma." Light whimpered as pain shot through him.

"Not so tight, my ribs!" He quickly loosened his hold as he was reminded of the damage he had inflicted earlier in the week.

"I'm sorry babe, here why don't you to take a hot bath and we'll order out tonight. Does that sound good?" Light nodded happy for the chance to get away without raising question. He gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before heading upstairs to his room. Slipping into his room he quickly found a good hiding place for the Death Note and grabbed a change of clothes.

He headed to the bathroom slipping his shirt off as he entered. Light examined his shirtless reflection with mixed emotions, dark black and blue bruises were layered over fainter yellowish wounds across his chest. On his right dark red outlines of his cracked ribs stood out and he quickly remembered the anger behind each hit. That thought was quickly replaced with the knowledge that he couldn't leave, he could no longer survive without Jack.

…

**-Sorry this is so short but I wanted to try my first cliff hanger, I don't think I did well but I'm sure you guy's will let me know. I'll try to update more rapidly, especially since most of this is me procrastinating and not being busy. I'm so terrible. **


	2. Contemplation

AN: Hi everyone, I know it's been forever, I'm really sorry about that. I finally got to talk to my beta again though, now that school is over for me. I hope to defeat my procrastination this summer and work diligently on my fanfiction… but I guess we'll see how it goes. I do have a lot of trips coming up. But I really want to work hard on these because every time I get a review or someone favorites me I just feel like "wow, these people actually like my work, I should make more time and write more." But you know, life, and stuff going on, don't you just hate it?

Beta's note: Redfirerose here, Caboose made me edit her AN for grammar mistakes (there weren't any btw) and I decided to say hi. You can all hate me for delaying the update. Its okay I'm used to angry mobs. That's what the puma is for.

-I don't own Deathnote (too bad) and I make no money from this. I barely make any money from my actual job. Don't sue me please.

-Shout outs to my readers and my beta redfirerose. Also, special thanks especially to Dotti55 for letting me rant about everything going on and for talking to me even with my randomness.

Chapter 1

Light listened to the seconds tick by as he lay awake in Jack's arms. The calm of the morning was the only comfort in his usually chaotic life; it was his favorite time of the day. The steady rise and fall of Jack's chest informed Light just how deeply he was asleep and put him at ease for the moment. His mind wandered, as it normally did now, to how he had even gotten himself into this life style.

It had started with a pity date; poor Jack, a fellow student at school, had been left by his boyfriend and Light, taking sympathy on him, had agreed to go out with him. It's not like it was particularly difficult, he wasn't bad looking, quite handsome in fact. He had short, black hair that was kept neatly trimmed and accentuated a pair of attractive pale blue eyes. He had always been a gentle and romantic man, pampering Light; he assumed it was fear of him leaving too. He didn't even realize that every time Jack decided he would handle something, it slowly started making Light dependant on him. Really, just when had it gone from pity to full blown relationship anyway?

By the end of the first year Light had moved in and had started collage for nursing, rarely leaving the house at all except for classes, but it was by choice. He never partied like the other grad students. There was no need to leave after all; Jack got him anything he wanted and Light was happy. It wasn't until three and a half years into the relationship that things started becoming uncomfortable. Jack spent less time at home and Light was almost done with his four years at school, things were becoming mundane and lonely.

He had made the mistake of complaining, this had sparked an argument that in turn led to Light being backhanded for the first time in his life. It was also the first time Light's normally quick mind stalled from shock, anger, and a little bit of fear. He probably would have gone back to his parent's that night had Jack not shown such extreme remorse, and things returned to the way it had been before, with the dark haired man spoiling Light.

But the pampering didn't last. After a while it became a rotation of arguing and then apologizing profusely when it became violent. Jack had never hit Light's face again though, as it attracted attention, but instead moved to striking his torso when he was angry. The brunet had adopted the habit of doing whatever would make Jack happy as opposed to asking for anything himself to avoid conflicts. This was how he had become trapped in this cycle.

Light's family wasn't even aware of his situation, they thought Jack was just a roommate and at the point that his dad had done a background check on him he was almost as perfect on paper as Light. But now he was involved in drug deals and car-jacking, Light even had his suspicions that Jack was part of a gang, especially when he found blood on his clothes. Light's mind was continuously conflicted though; at some points he would hate Jack because of the pain he felt and the lies he had to tell. Sometimes he felt afraid because he wanted to impress his boyfriend or didn't want to anger him. And sometimes he felt love towards him, the tender moments they shared and the gentleness Jack could have made Light forgive anything. The brunet really couldn't stay mad at his boyfriend.

Light got a job specializing in long term care at Koichi Tanaka* Medical Hospital quickly taking up the mindset that he was helping people who were suffering. He liked knowing that he could keep pain for others minimal even when his sides throbbed. But it wasn't Jack's fault; no he just needed to stop making such stupid mistakes to make him angry.

_No! Don't you dare think like that you pathetic swine! You're perfect and you don't make mistakes, he has no right to ever strike you. Drop him, you're better than he is and you deserve nothing less than perfection in your boyfriend. _The remnants of Light's pride screamed for him to be in power again, for _him_ to be the manipulator. But the voice was stifled as Jack stirred and snuggled against Light in his half-sleep daze.

_He's so sweet; even though he has a temper he's still so good to you. Very few people are perfect; you shouldn't hate him for his flaws. _Light chuckled internally; even his sensitive side took claims to being perfect. He tried to quiet his emotions and think logically, something that became harder and harder each passing day.

_This relationship is detrimental to your health, there's little to no reason to stay logically. Your emotions are the only thing keeping you tied to him, you should- _The voice was cut off when the muscled body behind him stretched. Light turned his body enough to look back at Jack as he woke.

"Oh, good morning Light. Did you sleep well?" His heart fluttered again at the sleepy tone used, it was becoming on him.

"I had a very pleasant night, thank you." Light rolled over completely, snuggling into the firm chest next to him. "Jay-chan," Light said cutely.

"I know that tone, what is it?"

"I have late shift today, can we have breakfast together?" Light wanted the warmth of the morning to last a bit longer, so having breakfast together was always a good way to go about that. His pride screamed at him again, it hated it when he acted cute, it missed his old air of cool that he had. Light pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind as Jack agreed to the breakfast and the two of them got ready for the day.

… **(Time Jump) …**

Light was suddenly very grateful for the emptiness of the apartment. He didn't know how he would have explained his sudden scream and falling to the floor. Then again he felt justified for it; it wasn't everyday something so… strange appeared right in front of you. The creature looked down on him with red eyes, his pointed teeth showed through the most disturbing joker smile and its blue skin was unsettling.

"Heh, what's the matter? Never seen a shinigami before?" His voice was like a growl; he gave Light a patronizing stare as he floated in place, Light's pride was screaming at him but the fear thundering through him stifled the cries. A million thoughts ran through his mind but the most prominent was the thought that the creature had come for his life and the notebook.

"L-look, if you've c-come for the death note you c-can have it, just please… don't hurt me." Light could practically feel his pride smacking him for not only stuttering, but for begging too. But Light couldn't help it; his fear got the better of him so frequently now.

"Huh? Nah, I've got my own notebook, the whole reason I dropped that in the first place was because I was bored. Killing you now would only mean I'd have to go find someone else to use it." Light moved his gaze to meet the death god's; even with the odd appearance he could tell the creature was sincere.

"Hmm, you haven't used the book much though have you? How boring."

"Well sorry I'm so boring; I suppose I'd have used it more if I knew how long my patients had to live. I'm not just going to end their lives without proper reason behind it." Light's fear settled as annoyance rose; the creature was complaining that he was boring, what an odd thing.

"But why would you kill the dying? It seems kind of pointless to me." How did it know about that, how long had he been being watched by this creature? Light thought for a little while letting his irritation settle with his fears.

"Well, it saves everyone a lot of trouble in the end. The dying don't have to suffer so long, food and medicine isn't being used on them, and their families don't have to pay to keep them in the hospital. It keeps the inevitable end from being drawn out. I think the biggest reason to why I do it though, is pity." The two of them stared at each other for what seemed like forever until the creature finally broke into a fit of laughter.

"Heh, you're more interesting than I took you for, pity huh? Well Light-kun, since I don't want to run the risk of boredom, I'm going to help with your problem. Have you ever heard of shinigami eyes?"

… **(Another Time Jump) … **

So as it turned out the shinigami's name was Ryuk and he was excessively distracting. He just kept talking to Light and, while at first it was useful, now that Jack was home it was a little nerve wracking trying not to react. Light wasn't worried about being caught staring at him, because first it would just look like he was in thought, and second he probably won't look at him much anyway, he didn't really like to make eye contact with people too much anymore. The thing that worried Light most about him being around was that he was afraid he'd accidently say something back. Earlier Ryuk made a comment about Jack and Light almost argued with him over it, he had luckily caught himself.

He felt like the shinigami was making fun of him though, he kept laughing and Light was just paranoid enough to convince himself that he _was_ laughing at him. He certainly had enough reason to now, especially after what he had seen. Apparently Jack had a bad day while he was out and had decided to use Light to vent, which of course was worse for Light today because he had an audience.

Jack did the usual; he hit Light, dragged him upstairs to the bathroom, turned the water on cold and threw him in the shower. Light didn't dare turn the water off because it could be heard running all through the house, so Light sat there and listened to him stomp around and break things. Light supposed it was better than the hitting though, but the entire time he sat there shivering Ryuk was buzzing with questions, laughing in between.

A few minutes later when Light's toes had long since turned numb he came back upstairs looking guilty and helping the brunet get warm and dry again. It was one of the few times Light really, really enjoyed cuddling with him.

But now that he was warm, Jack was calm and all the messes had been cleaned up they were eating dinner, and Ryuk was like a never ending questionnaire. Although Light could ignore the questions for the most part, the laughing was what was really driving him nuts.

"Really, why are you killing all these dying people when you could easily kill this guy and end all your problems? Honestly, I don't understand why you'd stick around when you have the death note at hand. Heh, my first impression of you was definitely wrong, you'll be plenty entertaining."

Irritation gnawed away at Light's insides at the commentary, especially the laugh that punctuated it. Was he supposed to be happy that the damn shinigami wasn't going to be bored? Really, at this point Light wasn't sure if he was better off dead or not. At least then he wouldn't have to suffer with Jack, and at the same time wouldn't be worried about whether he was coming after him or not. Or worried about if he was alright, because Light knew he would, even if he tried not to.

_But if you died he would be even sadder than if you just left because he wouldn't even have the hope of you coming back. He would have nothing and you would have willingly put him there. Could you do that to him? _It appeared Light's conscience was against him. He hoped his pride would hit it for him, he didn't want to listen to it make him feel bad for Jack again. It was bad enough when his soft side kept being optimistic and pointing out every good thing to cover up the bad.

His ribs throbbed to prove his point; right now really wasn't a time to think about how much Jack would miss him if he died. His sides ached terribly and his hands kept shaking from the pain running through him. He would have to be careful to make sure Jack stayed in a good mood, he was sure his ribs would break next time.

"Light, you should call in sick; I don't want you going to work like this." Light knew this was his way of working into an apology when he went too far, the brunet relaxed knowing this meant he would be cuddled and spoiled until his ribs got better. He nodded rising to retrieve the phone. "And Light, I'm sorry about how I reacted." The tenderness in his voice made Lights emotional side swoon, but he pulled it back allowing only one of his plastic smiles to fix onto his face and turning himself cold.

"I know Jack, I understand." Light's pride cheered at the guilt in the blue eyes before the fractured bits of his mind commenced in their typical battling. He let a hollow, numb feeling fill him as he made the call being sure to use his normal tone when speaking. Being well liked at the hospital was useful for some things, he was sure that very few people could request sick days so frequently and get away with it.

After getting the sick day he so desperately needed he moved past a still snickering Ryuk and headed upstairs. Perhaps he would commit some time into thinking, but more likely he'd simply sleep the rest of the day and try not to think at all. Planning and contemplating were rarely worth the hassle anymore, they only lead to trouble.

But as he curled up under his blanket one thought did make itself prominent in his mind. He needed an out, he couldn't take much more of this and he would need a failsafe so he wouldn't be able to back out if his emotions got the better of him again. Perhaps it was due time to use his mind again, even if it was just this once.

… **(End) … **

* Koichi Tanaka is a Japanese scientist who won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry (2002) for developing a novel method for mass spectrometric analyses of biological macromolecules.

-I know I'm evil because I'm enjoying seeing the usually so pompous Light weak and helpless. Though I am feeling bad now that I've written this, and I've done so much to him mentally, I mean, the part where he goes "Jay-chan" cutely is pure humor. My beta and I were cracking up trying to picture him saying that, I've really done a number on his character. And I can't wait to drag L into this. Mwahaha, so much evil to write, so little time for sympathy.

-Also, I love writing the mental wars in Light's head, more fun than you know. Yay internal wars and your comicalness, and thank you morbid humor, I don't think I would be laughing nearly as hard at some parts without you. Thank you kindness, for smacking me in the head and yelling at me for being so mean to my characters. And thank you for thoughts of "shut up now and post the damn chapter" because otherwise I'd be sitting here for another hour with my ADD.

-Please review to help fight off procrastination.


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